Clarity Part 2

In this blog post I am rediscovering certain topics from the Clarity section of Rules For Writers and applying the knowledge I have learned to my QRG rough draft.

normalityrelief. "Clarity". 5 March 2011. Public Domain.

Active Verbs:
Using active verbs in place of passive verbs strengthens the meaning of the verb and conveys a stronger sentence. In order to carry the meaning of a sentence in a way that is clear and concise I should strive to use active verbs. For example, say destroyed rather than was destroyed. 

Needed Words:
In order to convey sentence meaning more successfully, words shouldn't be left out or forgotten. Using descriptive adjectives for verbs help. When my rough draft was peer edited, my peers helped me add some more descriptive wording in order to convey what I was saying more clearly.

Emphasize Key Ideas:
I have learned that my emphasizing my point in the subject and verb of an independent clause, my sentences become easier to understand. Especially with the QRG style of writing, keeping simpler sentences (while still maintaining sentence variety) helps convey information in a more efficient manner for readers.

Appropriate Language:
In my QRG I chose to keep jargon and slang mostly out of my writing, similar to how Rules For Writers instructs readers to do. However, after reading RFW I have realized that it is directed towards the traditional college essay. I have read some QRGs from my piers that utilize jargon in a efficient way, which is appropriate given the conventions of a QRG. This section of Clarity should be taken lighter than the other sections.

After reviewing my own draft, I have learned I am very successful in emphasizing key ideas in my sentences. For example I wrote, "Even though the Tokyo olympics are still 5 long years away, Japan is erupting in controversy over their centerpiece stadium".
I have written a sentence that is very direct and easy to understand. 

However, because my QRG is very direct, I could use some variety in my choice of language to "spice it up" a little and make it more interesting to read. I started to do this a little in my sentence, "Zaha Hadid Architects, the firm responsible for the controversial London Aquatics Center for the 2012 Olympics, is facing another challenge as its proposed plans for Japan’s new national stadium are under fire."

By using "under fire" I am making my sentence more interesting than if I had just written "are controversial".